My dearest Graham and Green,

Why do you tease me so?  Why do you showcase the most glorious quilt in rich velvet, the perfect grey, on sale and with free delivery when I am so very very broke?

Why do you send me emails promising beautiful things for discounted rates when my gorgeous W has already spent much too much money on me for Christmas and when he’s already booked a glorious holiday away for my birthday in January and so I darent even ask?

Why, when I am ready to pull out the credit card because I know for sure I will never see another quilt this utterly beautiful within my greedy sweaty grasp, do you remove this beauty from your website?  How could you not save just one wee quilt for me?

I thought we were mates, all three of us, enjoying each others’ company over a hot cup of tea and a biscuit whilst I am in my pajamas, lazily longing over the beauty of your website on my laptop.  How dare you give me a tease such as this and then pry it away from my grip when I can practically feel the softness against my bare cheek?
How could you.  How dare you.
We’re gonna fall out we are.

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