So the last couple of weeks have been a little bit crazy to say the least. First, there was an appearance on Young House Love, shortly followed by an appearance on West Elm’s blog Front & Main and finally, just yesterday, my kitchen appeared on Apartment Therapy.
All of that is so extremely positive, I can’t even say that enough. I’ve been blogging for nearly 4 years now and my traffic was certainly nothing to write home about for a long while. Seeing my visits and followers from these sources sky rocket was heady and a little bit surreal.
However, what comes with that kind of big exposure – and so much of it in such a short space of time – was that from it emerged a lot of negativity. Towards my style, towards the way I decorate my home – it’s been called a visual assault, clutter, people have “shuddered” at the thought of dust or grime (seriously? how do you think I live?) and have gone so far as to attack me as a person.
I suppose when you put yourself out there, you take the good with the bad. It’s all a part of it.
I know full well that not everyone will like my style – it’s a bit ‘out there’, it’s certainly not minimal or restrained, it’s full of colour and it’s also quite different from what you normally see in the UK. I’m okay with that.
I like it. And so does Wayne. (I don’t think the kitties care to be honest, they’ve never expressed an opinion either way). So it’s not like I’m going to be changing my “maximalist” style any time soon.
The coolest thing in all of this is the amount of support I’ve received. Honestly, it hurt to read all those negative comments (considerably more on AT than anywhere else) – I’m only human, it’s not nice when people don’t like what you love. But man, you guys are so freaking cool and supportive and all kinds of awesome. Thank you, seriously, from the bottom of my heart. It made it all so much easier deal with.
Kat posted this in response to the Apartment Therapy feature and I loved it so much that I thought I’d share.
My point? Haters gonna hate. And taking it all personally or deciding to actually – I don’t know – change something because of it wouldn’t be being true to myself.
I think one of the best things about getting older is taking negativity in it’s stride. Taking on the constructive criticism, brushing off people just wanting to be a bit snarky and enjoying the company of those that actually like you or like what you do. I’ve not always found this easy but I find myself caring less and less what people who aren’t important to me actually think.
Also? This ;)
Because no matter what our style, if we embrace it and OWN it, that’s what is going to get us far ;)
So I thought I’d open up the discussion a little – how do you deal with negativity? Do you find it easy to brush off or do you struggle? What do you think the best way to deal with criticism is? I’d love to hear from you!
I think it's disgusting that people gave you such negativity – it makes me feel a bit sick. If you don't like something, move on! Isn't that we do in everyday life? Don't like something on the menu, you move to the next. Don't like a skirt you tried on, move on to the next. Why on the internet is it okay to tell everyone just how much to hate something? You wouldn't shout
i think the people who feel the need to say negative and hurtful things are usually sad and angry and have bigger issues so i end up just feeling sorry for them. if they need to attack you or me to feel better about themselves, they are nothing to be worried about.
You GO girl! People who say horrible things just have nothing better to do in their own pathetic excuses for lives.<br />Love your style, your blog and I think you're AWESOME. The fact you're also in the UK earns you bonus points ;)
Gah, pay no mind to the unsavoury, cowardly and pitiful characters of the world who hide behind their computer screens. Water of a duck's back and all that, because you ARE fabulous. Simply rejoice in the support you're gaining :) xoxo
I love your style. Keep it up!
I'm so excited I found your blog because you are one the rare DIY that embraces color and patterns and I LOVE it! It's such a shame there aren't more people out there doing what you do. It would give me a little more confidence to follow suit!! Love your style!
Hi Kimberly, <br />I have to say having read through the comments on some of the other b&a post on AT it is a wonder anyone wants to be featured on there with that kind of feedback?!! It seems to be perfectly fine for people to make frankly rude comments, they may as well be spam! but it seems to be the same reaction on most of the other posts too. <br />Really I know that some blogs don'
I found your blog last week through YHL and am a big fan! I love your house and it's happy, colorful vibe. I spent a good deal of time perusing your pictures this past Saturday and it was one of the highlights of my day. It may not be my 'style' (only because of the kind of house I have) but it makes me smile and I can see myself adding some of your lovely ideas to my home. I saw
I too just found your blog from the YHL post, and was so happy to find another "must read" blog o add to my list (just for reference, it's littlegreennotebook, YHL, Emily Henderson and You). I love the style and personality you bring to your space. I've toyed with writing a blog for sometime, but at the end of the day, I know I'm just not comfortable with 'putting
I also found your blog from YHL. I love your ideas and how you've taken an older house and updated it yet stayed true to the essence of the house. <br /><br />I think your description "haters gonna hate" is the best way to deal with negativity – people are vicious and cowardly with the Internet's anonymity. I notice that on news websites in particular.<br /><br />Thank you for
I find it so sad that people feel it's acceptable to be mean online, as though the anonymity makes it ok. Personally, your style is not something I would want for my house but that's part of why I love your blog. I'm a big fan of beige and neutrals and am very much a minimalist but I love your use of colour and find that sometimes there are ideas I can implement that push me out of my
Your house is beautiful and you've done an amazing job of it! I'm happy to read your blog and think you have great style! The people on AT seem to consistently be vicious to everyone. I take criticism to heart and used to really let it bother me until my boss told me how she deals with it. You can acknowledge the comment or thing that upset you and then "label it" and then put
I've been reading AT for about a year now since we started the process of buying our first place, and to be honest the calibre of the comments you received is pretty standard for that site. It's almost as though some people have signed up just so they can be snarky about other peoples' homes (maybe they all have crap décor and are jealous). It makes me a little sad, so I try not to
I went back and read the comments from AT and I honestly don't think you should call them haters. They expressed their opinions and MOST of them were not mean just honest. If you are going to have a Blog, you have to expect opinions both negative and positive. Ease up a bit…you are fine. Don't take it so personally!
The 'haters gonna hate' remark was really just a joke although it looks like AT removed the more personal attack. The whole point of the post was about not taking these things personally. I think you missed the point ;-)
I understand what you are saying, I just felt like you did take it personally cuz you were taking the time to write a blog post about it. I don't think I could put myself out there because I know deep down I would take it personally, it's hard not too. Any way, my point was it…I think you are fine and I like your house and will continue to follow your blog daily. <br />
It was really just to get other's feedback on how they deal with unconstructive criticism but obviously I wanted to use my own experiences to fuel the conversation and also to thank those people who've been really supportive! It's good to get the conversation out there because I'm sure there are a lot of newbie bloggers who struggle to put themselves out there for the very reasons
Girl, let me tell you- first, I am so happy I found your blog through AT. I recommended it to my mom for some styling tips for her place. Second, I was in the Small, Cool contest on AT a few years ago when my style was totally different. I had been so proud of my home and people were SO MEAN to me. Not everyone- but a lot of people. (wanna see? http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/
Your house rocks! Don't worry. There is almost nothing anyone can post anymore that doesn't attract vicious comments. It's cowardly because these same people would NEVER say the same things to your face. My two cents: just keep doing what you do with great style and have compassion for people who think their opinions are so important. Who cares if what they like/don't like is
Oh, by the way, in response to your question about how I deal with negativity/ cristicism. I take it personal! But, I used SOME of the criticism to see that my space wasn't exactly me and I made a few small changes based on the criticism, but nothing that detracted from who I was or what I loved about the space. <br /><br />It hurt my feelings a ton, though! When I revamped my home when
I found you through YHL but really enjoy the features on Apartment Therapy. Here's the thing: people are incredibly snarky on that site. Part of me loves reading the snarky comments because they're so over the top and ridiculous. <br /><br />Congrats on your feature and just remember: those people don't have to live in your home, so who cares what they think, anyway? There will always
I think it is so sad how many mean people are out there. I feel crushed by the worlds ways sometimes. But the good outweigh the bad and you are one of the good that is putting out beauty and creativity and are actually practicing it and living it! God gives us our gifts and to use your gift is a mighty thing. The ones that hate are probably not using their gifts and are sad and angry about it and
I've just been over to AT to take a look at the comments. Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion but frankly I think there is a whole lot of jea – lou- sy. How many of these people have had their homes featured? As someone above has said "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."<br />Everyone's taste is different, and even though some of
Oh god I completely implode when it comes to negativity. I really don't know how to handle it, and I've got to say, I need to take a note out of your book. One of my favourite quotes is from Dita Von Teese, which is quite appropriate – <br /><br /><b><i>"You can be the biggest, juiciest peach in the world, and there are still going to be people who hate peaches".</i></b> <br /><
Ha! That quote was exactly what I wanted to tell her! Been following Kimberly for a while and love her style.
LOVE that quote!
Fabulous quote! Love it :)
Hehe, Kimberly, love that last pic – you ARE fabulous! :) <br /><br />For some reason, Apartment Therapy is a breeding ground of negativity, and I generally avoid that site because of that. There are so many online communities that are full of wonderful, encouraging people – I think it's kind of sad that particular website has become a gathering of grumpy, snarky, and just plain bitchy people
I'm one of those gals that added you immediately to my Feedly after your promo on Young House Love. I love your style and use of dark wall colors. Never mind those folks on AT. I like the content that is posted on the site but the commenter’s are harsh. They made me cry once too! :)
Oh no, that's terrible! I'm sorry they made you cry – it's so hard not to take it personally, totally understandable xxx
I loooove your design style! but if I didn't why would I bother to make rude comments? it's just weird that people take the time to be mean. they obviously have nothing better too. and with the internet, the bigger you are, the trolls just seem to come out of the woodwork. love that you love what you do and are ignoring the haters!
Keep being you and doing what you do! Thank you for this post. I am a new blogger and worry about the day I get that ugly comment. I hope I handle them well. If you don't like something (which is ok and will happen) Then keep it to yourself. The self entitlement people feel always blows me away! They are so self absorbed they can't see straight!<br />Amber @ Framecandyshop.com
I found your blog through YHL and knew immediately that I wanted add you to my Feedly list. I love your eclectic sensibilities!
you were brave to go on AT – i find daily that there is more Hate and bad behaviour than any other HD blog …. but there are also people who call out the haters and baddies… hang in there . i love your kitchen (and have open shelves and stuff too!)<br />
Girl, I don't know why people have to be so unpleasant and feel the need to express their unpleasantness to others. Keep rockin' your maximalist style because your place is fantastic and you are lovely! I found you through YHL and am so happy I did!
I think your style is unique and fabulous! If you were the same as all the rest, you wouldn't be getting any attention… no one cares about commonality. I am sure being a YHL fan you've seen their posts about how they deal with negativity and how they try to "keep it real" – I found it very inspiring, and love that they show their house in a state of disarray sometimes and are
Hi Kimberley, I know this is easier said than done, but just ignore them! I figure that if somebody takes the time to write a nasty comment, it is a reflection on them as a person and not at all about you. You are doing great things and I love reading your blog. xD
Kimberley, your home is awesome! I love your adventurous style. Not everyone is that exciting. You just keep on being fabulous and let them keep on being boring ;)<br /><br />XO,<br />Krista
I agree with Doris above. People who feel the need to trash other people's style obviously have issues. Second I think you should pat yourself on the back for being brave enough to share your vision with the world. True style is about being true to your self not taking a survey to see what the most people will like. I personally think your style is lovely and I've gotten some great ideas
Girl people on Apartment Therapy are evil! Lol I don't even read the comments when I visit anymore because they're always so snarky! I love your style!
Girl, I love your style!!! KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!!! And come to the US and paint with me. :)
You have a wonderful home. Thank you for sharing and i really like your glamorous dressing room.
I think I found you through a paleo blog, and I'm mostly a lurker, but I have to say, I stuck around because I love how you express your style. Taking criticism, especially when it gets personal, is never easy, but I think this post is a great way to express it. Keep on being fabulous!
I have to process what people say to me if it's rude and then let it slide off. Mean words can hurt! A glass of wine with a good friend or words of encouragement from my husband never hurt the process! Writing is definitely therapeutic. I'm comfortable with who I am, what I believe and what I love. If someone else isn't, that is not my problem and we are clearly not destined to be
I dislike the people who have to say negative things; they have failed to learn the mantra "if you don't have something good to say….". I appreciate everyone who displays their homes and décor, and I respect their creativeness. It is hard not to take it personally, and you are right that you must stay true to who you are. Originality is beautiful.
gosh people are horrid! I personally love your style – and if I didn't id just click away – how hard is that? Keep up your fabulousness and thank you for sharing :-)
You ARE fabulous!!! Love your style, don't change a thing for anyone, especially a bunch of random strangers over the internet. If they had a fraction of your style and guts they'd be doing what you do instead of taking pot-shots.
I am a new follower after discovering you through YHL. Personally I love your house and your style. I fimd it so refreshing to see something so different in this neck of the woods. I live in Ireland and decor consists of beige or white. If you are far out there maybe a red accent wall! So when people comment on my colourful house I just try ignore it. Its my house, I live in it and it makes me
Through the power of Twitter, you already know what I think but, to reiterate in the words of a very wise lady: "If people don't like it, they can look the other way." <br /><br />And for the amusement of your other readers (such a lovely supportive bunch!), kind of been there: http://1910housetohome.wordpress.com/2013/08/29/which-way-do-you-hang-lotus-wallpaper-a-facebook-debate/ <
Always do your best to see beauty everywhere (even if it's not your style) and if you haven't got anything nice to say, then it's better to keep your mouth shut and go somewhere else…that's what I think, and that's what I teach my children. I sometimes feel that people who say negatives things like that, or whose hobby it is to criticise people, they have too much time on
I have noticed that people tend to post a lot of negativity on Apartment Therapy, in particular. Perhaps because it's not a personal blog, people aren't afraid of being jerks because they feel more anonymous there, like they're not saying it to you directly. I just don't get why they bother looking and commenting if it's not their thing.<br /><br />But clearly you are awesome
Bitch, please, you ARE fabulous! Keep on keeping on…
So sad that so many only try to bring others down! Think of all of those that LIFT you up (it seems you are doing just that) and those are the people we want to surround ourselves with :) I love your style & find it very similar to my own! I foun dyou on YHL and just started sollowing since then. Like you said, embracing your inner style and surrounding yourself with things/ people that
I've been following you for awhile and was sorry to read the snarky comments on AT. I think your home is a glorious reflection of you. That is all that matters. Please don't let them get you down and please keep sharing!
I read this post the other day and then felt like a real dummy for not leaving a comment, so I'm back today with my two cents! I found your blog via YHL and I've been thrilled to follow you and learn more about your personal design style. I think it's absolutely fabulous and unique and so inspirational. In fact, your space totally inspired me to paint a wall in my living room black!
Have you seen this? http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=30529903&parentid=A_DEC_PILLOWS<br />I thought of you instantly! I think you're fabulous and fantastic and we should all be comfortable with our personal style and who we are. You've got it girl! Oh and I also can't wait to paint a wall black! And with having two cats myself you're
Add me as another new follower courtesy of YHL. As soon as I saw that gallery wall I was smitten. I am currently obsessed with the paint color in your dining room and have already worked out the equivalents of your DulUx into Behr and Sherwin Williams and have the paint chips on the wall as we speak I am so sorry that people take the time to spread negative stuff and that I didn't take
I am new here thanks to YHL and I think you are fabulous. Fuck 'em.
I am fairly new to your blog and you are now at the top of my blog list! You have such a bold, creative, unique style and give me the courage to be daring in my design choices! All of your rooms make me happy and give me such great energy. You have amazing style! Don't let the haters get you down!
I'm with Melissa. Long time reader of your blog and YHL. Your style is mighty and most folks can't deal. Rock on. :)<br /><br />
Hey sweetie!! I found your blog because I saw your dressing room on Pinterest. I think it's fabulous!!! People can suck. You are awesome!!
I just recently became a big fan of yours because I love your unique, creative ideas. Mean comments are like road rage—people hiding behind their computers feel safe enough to say awful things they'd never dare say to your face. There are online forums of YHL haters, which is SO ridiculous because we all know how nice that couple is! Don't let it get to you. You're a style maker,
I only learned about your blog because I saw it on YHL. And I loved what I saw so much that I put it into my Feedly must read category…. some folks just like to be mean, and I don't understand it, because it's so easy to just not visit a site if it's not to someone's personal taste.
Hi – I too found my way here from YHL and at first I thought our taste could not be more opposite but as I scrolled through I found myself liking more and more. And even the things that I'm not that crazy about are still cool and interesting. I think you have a great design sense and can't wait to see more of the evolution!
People are idiots. Not you, obviously – you are fabulous, and have great taste, and have made me want to embrace more gold in my life. <br /><br />I think it's best to focus on doing things you love, and sparing as few thoughts as possible for those people who are sad enough to get their kicks from writing cruel things about people on the internet. Or you can send me a list of their names,
A little bit of a late comment, but I wanted to share with you anyway. I discovered your blog through YHL and I love it. Our homes look very different but I really admire your style and part of what I enjoy about the blogs I keep up with (and you're on the list now) is fresh eyes! And I enjoy AT and read it regularly, but I almost never read the comment bc they tend to be mean, snotty and not
What a late comment for me as well, but hey, I only recently discovered you. I had a look at the AT comments and I think most of the people that left negative comments probably didn't visit your blog before posting. If you take the before and after photos on their own, then yes, some people might think that there was no real improvement in this space. HOWEVER, if you look at the after photos
Aww thank you Jen for your thoughtful comment! Yeah, my kitchen is probably a bit weird taken out of context with the rest of my home! And unfortunately, AT didn't really go into much detail in the article so there was a lot of missing background information ;) But yes, Abigail Ahern's cavalier attitude is definitely an influence on my style and I have her book – will have to review those
I discovered your blog only about a couple of weeks ago. Not everything in your house is to my taste and style but I follow you becouse you are a great inspiration! Not only in terms of home decor but also your personality seems fun and full of energy. I imagine you as always smiling person and I like to come here for my daily energy dose!<br />We can't please everyone, in fact we need